"You answer my fears, wiping away all my tears, You comfort me and hold me, and I am at rest in You..."  (excerpt from Noel's song "I Cry Out") Here it is ...April.  It has been a year since the HUGE upset. I remember when Craig left the resignation letter on the pulpit, that Sunday, April 1st 2007. We said, "Will they think it is an April Fool's joke?"  It is amazing what a year of time can do... to bring closure to things that a heart never wanted to really let go of. Yet here we are singing in a new ministry, wanting to feel safe again. I've rehashed the story thousands of times in my mind.  I've poured over my old prayer journals for the year preceding the end of that ministry. How foolish was I back then in my walk, was it severly lacking?  I found out, Yes, I was really praying, I was really being impacted by verses in studying the Word. I was serving with all my might, pouring myself out because I loved God's people.  What happened? Did I get too attached? Did I "murmur in the tents" about the negatives? What about My husband? Was it his failure? We can think of things we should have done differently, but when I really think about each situation, I feel justified in how we handled it.  We pray the Lord will teach us. I think about writing a book to warn pastor's wives about the wolves that come in and look JUST sheep like...for a while. I'd say: "Trust the red flags! Don't try to convince your husband to molly coddle, in hopes the wolf will realize how much they are loved and will turn back into a sheep! Don't underestimate the effect the wolf will have on the flock, that he may be more appealing to them then their pastor! " I think the number one thing I would say to someone new in ministry, is... "There will be some you will love like family, but in the blink of an eye, they will decide to reject you. They will say it is a rejection of the ministry, but you will know it is you. They will be able to completely sever you out of their life without a bit of pain over the loss of relationship."   So, it's been a year. We have been hurt, homeless, and bent over with cries of bitterness. But, we have been completely safe in Christ Jesus. He has provided, comforted, and counseled us through His Word. We have by faith trusted His lead into another pastorate.  Looking back, I see His hand in it all. I did a painting to commemorate this last year, based on Psalm 63:8. "My soul followeth hard after (close behind) Thee: Thy right hand upholdeth me."  I don't want to forget what it was like to only have hope in HIM. I think in  another year, I'll be looking in the prayer journals from the last year not just to see if I had been foolish, but to see evidences of His Right Hand. "You comfort me and hold me and I am at rest in You..."