19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.1 Cor 6:19-20 (NKJV)
I was bought with a price, and even I am not my own.
How about people? In the past I thought my church family was mine. Surely they love me as I love them, surely they would never want to leave, to separate themselves from the body and go off to join some other. Or even more traumatic, want me to leave. It was a painful shot of reality when I found out the truth. Church is not “mine.”
But what about my babies? I created them, bore them, nursed them and devoted my life to their tender care and well being, they MUST be mine. No, they fly away, leave the nest, and need me no more. And I say, “It is as it should be.” But I don’t like it one bit. There is an old song by Twila Paris that illustrates all this…
“Every little baby comes into the world,
Reaching for an anchor, fingers tightly curled,
Grasping for a reason without knowing why
We will cling to anything ’til the day we die
We can hold on to sorrow, hold on to pain
We can hold on to anger when there is nothing to be gained
We can hold to a thread at the end of a rope
But if we hold on to Jesus we are holding on to hope
Hold on, hold on
This is human nature; this is what He planned
When He put our hearts inside, when He made these hands
We are here to reach for Him, never letting go
This is all we need to have, all we need to know
We can hold on to money, hold on to fame
We can hold on to glory and the honor of a name
We can hold to a thread at the end of a rope
But if we hold on to Jesus we are holding on to hope
Hold on, hold on”
What a powerful song, that expresses the truth about the “mine” syndrom. And here is also expressed the remedy. JESUS.
I know very well that everything is actually His. He created the universe, so, I get it that I have been just pretending these things in the world are mine. So, I am His. That sounds wonderful, safe, satisfying, and there is such rest in the hope of His forever love. But the knowledge of this requires surrender. I struggle with handing it over, loosening the fist, saying… “It was never mine to begin with, take it and do what You will.” Stupid, as I am, because He of course knows best, and is far better at managing it all.
But here is the answer my heart needs. I need something to be mine. Please something I can grasp onto that won’t be taken away, that wants me to grasp tighter! Jesus is MINE! Nothing compares! All else, even the lovely things on the planet, pale in comparison. He is Mine. Not mine to manipulate, but to enjoy, to lean on, to cling to.
Another great song says… “I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.”

So…I’m going to be okay. I am growing up, discovering what is truly MINE, and learning how to surrender the rest.
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. John 15:9 (NKJV)

I’ve got the strangest suspicion that if I’m quiet and listen

That I’ll hear Your voice tonight.

When You’re so hard to hear even though You’re so near.

Because I still put up a fight.

*Chorus: When I open Your letter tonight,

Will You be the there to move me,

Shield me from the sounds of the world.

In Your still small voice that whispers love to me.

My own voice has drowned out Your words

I can’t hear anything but me.

But I’ll follow You and finally make the choice

That I will listen to Your voice.*

Let the sweet sound of Your voice

Call me home into Your arms.

Where I find peace and rest

From the sounds of this world.

For the last few years, I have been noticing more and more that my fellow believer’s are listening consistently to secular music. This puzzles me very much.  I don’t think I am the overly legalistic type, I just honestly don’t see the appeal.  I know there are some really cool songs out there, and I have to admit when I hear the guitar riff from a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, it sends a nostalgic smile to my face and I want to grab my guitar.

Craig and I had a not so good but enthusiastic, classic rock band back in 80’s and 90’s. Honestly, I never felt comfortable in a bar, even before God saved me, it always seemed… well… “icky.” But, it was music, and it was money, and it was a night out. When God got a hold of us, we realized even the words to the songs were “icky.” We would get the guitars out and try to sing our old favorites… “I was runnin’ down the road, trying to loosin’ my load, got seven women on my mind…” EW! Okay, we can’t sing the Eagles “Take it Easy,” anymore.  So we wondered… what is music to us now? The hymns and choruses at church seemed old and dorky, but the words were good…so…we did a drastic thing. We got rid of all our albums, and our band equipment, and decided to set music aside. It all seemed distasteful to us. We eventually found out there was such a thing as Contemporary Christian music, and what a relief!  Back then it was Steve Green and Twila Paris, and our favorite band was GLAD, who did awesome acapella songs.  We also were greatly moved by the late Keith Green’s song lyrics, and his story. Keith Green gave up a pretty successful secular music career after Jesus saved him, and gave himself over to using his gifts solely for Christ.

Craig and I began to write some songs, since we didn’t know many Christian songs, and we sang them for churches as the Lord opened doors. AND… Hey! A revelation! It is a far better thing to sing about HIM, and for HIM! We would rather sing a slightly dorky song with words that move us to worship Jesus, (that really have an effect on our hearts, and our thoughts) …than to sing stupid secular songs about nothing important at all. I guess we think we were “made by Him and for Him” so we find the most fulfillment in singing our heads off for a higher purpose.

All around us, wonderful brother’s and sister’s in Christ are listening to the latest country song or even screamo, and they are free to do that. It is their brains, hearts, and walk with God, not mine.  Sadly, Craig and I, even feel a pressure to play secular music, so that we will be playing a song our audience has heard before. So very few are listening to the Christian alternatives, and I am talking in Christian circles. Well…I just can’t do it. I can’t go back to the world’s noise. I burned that bridge years ago, and honestly for me, it would be sin.

The thing that puzzles me, is that there is such variety and such a plethora of talented Christian musicians out there today, why would you need to listen to anything else? Not just good old Twila Paris and Steve Green, but Third Day, and Mercy Me, and Sara Groves, and on and on and on….! Music that challenges our thinking, gets us refocused, brings tears of conviction and joy and surrender!

I happen to think Music is for God. He should have it all. It should be for His glory, not mans.  I wish I could redeem the arts for the Lord, but who am I? Well, I can only do my part. Perhaps only 10 people will ever hear my songs, and only 3 will like them. (and they are my family!) The rest will think they are dorky. But hey, it is my offering to the one who made me. I have no greater joy than writing and singing, and playing my guitar for the God who reached down and gave me the faith to trust Christ to save me. There is a song by Mercy Me that reminds me to press on, with these words…
“Can I climb up in Your lap?
I don’t wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
You’re the one who’s keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That’s the only way that I’ll find healing”

I have known the Lord for 17 years now, and in so many ways, I see the church of God becoming more like the world. What we put in front of our eyes, what we digest, what we listen to, how we dress even, just looks the same. We are fitting in, and we think it is no big deal.  I wonder what we miss out on as we chase after the wind, filling our heads with the worlds noise.
¹² Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, ¹⁴ I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:12-14 (NKJV)

WOW!

Sometimes I have these very peculiar days where I see the hand of God in such jawdropping, laugh, slap your knee and say “WOW!” ways, that I have to write it down. I have heard them called “God Stops” or “God Moments.”  Today was one of those days.

I teach a little Sunday School class that consists of any kids that come to church, which means ages really vary. There is a teen boy that the Lord is really growing and I LOVE how God was at work through him today. We have been working through the old testament kings, seeing each week if the next king will “do evil in the sight of the Lord,” or seek Him.  Today we were at Asa. The curriculumn I use suggested a beginning activity of writing down six things people need advice for and  six places people go to for advice. So one girl jotted down the ideas like “How to spend $,” and “how to choose friends,” etc.  Then, this teen boy wrote on the other paper things like “horoscopes”, “dear abbey”, but…  He wrote down #4. GOD AND HIS WORD. So, I had two dice, one for the girls to roll that would correspond to the numbers on their paper about what things people need advice for… and one for the boys to roll to correspond to who they would go to for advice. Okay, so the girl rolls the dice, gets a 3 and looks on her paper and says “how to choose friends” and then the boy rolls the dice and… well… now… here is where it got amazing. Out of a dozen times of rolling, the #4 came up 10 times.  We wondered if they were trick dice! But even if they were flawed some how, God knew that the teen boy would right GOD AND HIS WORD as #4 answer. I told the kids that the Lord wants them to know that HE is the one to get our counsel from. The bad advice options we listed, well, their # never ever came up on the dice. Just 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4! No coincidence, no luck, no tricks, just the almighty God who loves these kids in Danbury so HE worked a little miracle for them. It was so exciting to then teach about king Asa going to the Lord for advice before going into battle, and because of his seeking God, God blessed him and gave him the victory.

I have had such precious times with the Lord the last few days. The theme in what I am reading and hearing keeps being about His sovereignty and I keep finding myself singing the Kevin St. Michaels song…” I’m still in awe of everything You do, everything you are,  every word of truth, thats spoken from Your lips to the heart of man, how can it be… that I’m part of Your plan.” How good and how powerful He is to be fulfilling His purpose in my life, and in my little Sunday School class. How exciting it is to serve a God who is so involved with His children.  What an amazing relationship that makes me stop and say “Wow.”

Although I have worked on this for over and hour and Hurricane Irene, thankfully, doesn’t seem to have been anything worth waiting for, I am blessed sitting here contentedly, enjoying my ordinary life.
Jesus, thank you for being my soul satisfier.